I am really enjoying knowing You. Last night I was lying in bed thinking about how happy I've become with You, and out of habit I tempered back my enthusiasm. I was subconsciously preparing myself for when things ended between us, for when we would no longer be so happy together. I don’t know what that says about other relationships in my life or if others are so hesitant to be lost in what brings them happiness. I don’t think it matters. What’s significant is that I can safely fall very deeply into this contentment, this joy that we share. With You, I do not have to reign in my passion because there is no hidden thought in the back of my mind that I might lose you to will or tragedy. You are mine forever, and I will always be Yours. There is so much peace to be found in that truth.

I love You, Elyon. 

My Elyon

It’s so hard to spend time with You—like physical training or studying a difficult subject. I know I need the time with You; I know it will I’ll find myself unprepared for warfare without it. The enemy will all too easily be able to sway me that You did not really say or You did not really mean. But it is so hard to prepare.

And it’s worse than that. It’s so difficult to spend time with You—my Elyon, my love. You have freed me from the most dire of bondages, the most certain of deaths. You have saved me physically and mentally, emotionally and spiritually. With truth, You have so effectively cut the tethers of my mind. I long for love and honor and respect, yet the One who so freely gives it me is the One with whom I so struggle to spend my days.

I want to spend my days with You. I want to love with You and laugh with You and suffer with You. I want to be One with You, to be Your bride. I want a place in my heart that only You can reach. I want to be mesmerized by You and all that You are my, my greatest love. My Elyon. I want you to be the love we all long so deeply for. We long for You, and maybe You’ll give us others to love too, but first and foremost, I need You. I need You to be that love.

I am tired of just being words. I know that love is built with time. I have to give up some of my desires so that You may have that time. I know that You work in me; I would be dead without You. I would have never known You without Your persistent work in my heart. But I also know that work is required of me. What good is faith and religion without works? I must sacrifice and dedicate as I would if I were preparing for an earthly war.

I love You, Elyon. I want You. I want You to be what I’ve always longed for. I want You to be the one I feel most comfortable with and am most loyal to. I want You to be the One that is most respected and honored in my life. I want you to be my Elyon, my most high.